Tell me...do you know...the secrets of..S44?

Saturday, September 02, 2006

What am I doing?

Ah I have left this as a title for a few days without any content...but I guess it doesn't really matter much as it's pretty obvious that this blog has sort of become my blog. I remembered I set up the blog a year ago as a way for us to know how each other is doing, but it's evident that it has ceased to fulfil its intended purpose. I think it will be petty on my part to be pissed and bitter about this, so I shall not be so contemptible as to bring up my recollection of how I was not only one who wanted this in the first place. This is particularly in lieu of the fact that I have hardly fulfiled my role as an ex-classmate to you guys in the last 4 four years by my repeated absence in class gatherings. Right. My fault.

Anyway. Back to the title at hand. I was thinking the other day, the most horrible realization that can occur to an undergraduate student is to be aware that he/she is simply not good in the area of her undergraduate studies. Isn't that an agonizing tragedy? Because one can't simply ditch that pessimistic perspective when one graduates - it lingers on until that person finds a miraculous niche in his/her career. One of the core principles of treatment in my course includes seeing a person/patient as a unique individual and appreciating that person/patient for who he/she is. That sounds very nice in a clinical setting, but it is an ideal that's almost impossible to implement in life. (To be honest, I think it's quiet hypocritical that people (myself included) keep harping about it - who can honestly say that they don't compare one person to another? To not compare would likely mean that one is simply a receptor in the whole scheme of things, that he/she is not analysing the information at all.) Have you ever thought how it feels like to be a boring person? (I admit to being boring, and thus speak for a percentage of boring people - 'We wish we are more interesting too!') To think, then know for sure that you have inferior ideas? Then to realise, to your everlasting horror, that this will be the scenario for the rest of your career?!!!!!

Ouch.

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Xiu Juan out
@ |10:40 PM|

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What am I doing?